No Plane Touched Down in the Hudson!

Mayday! Mayday! Listen up, y'all! An' listen good!

No plane ever crash-landed in the Hudson! You know what it was really?! It was a conspiracy! Planned by the White House… You don't believe us? Snort! You think it was the Canadian geese?! Snicker, eye roll, deep sigh, head shake, tch tch tch… Don't be so clueless…

Where is the video of the plane crash-landing in the water?! Huh?! Huh!! Tell us, where?! Aren't there always cameras trained on that New York river?! And how about all the tourists?! Don't they have cameras on them?! And haven't you heard the bird specialists?! It is impossible for a goose (for a Canadian goose, at any rate) to get within 70 feet of an Airbus A320! Plus, didn't you hear the explosions? The explosions that detonated right prior to the plane's alleged touchdown? C'm'on, now!!

Update: A strange coincidence took place right before takeoff: it seems that as the flight was boarding, a surprising number of passengers canceled their flights — all of whom were Jewish!!

Update 2: As we go to press, Thierry Meyssan is planning a book confirming that it was "a plot by the CIA to take the American people's attention away from the crisis America is undergoing, coupled with aid from Mossad to keep the media from looking more closely at the Gaza genocide"…